Without clothes on, we're all just kind of naked.


Sweater - iiS of Norway  // Denim shirt - Wrangler  // Jeans - WeSC // Shoes - Nelly

I can finally go outside without evaporating into dusty snowflakes from the cold. When the sun is up, that is. I'm not just being dramatic, I promise. It's even better since you guys are leaving me so many beautiful comments. I truly appreciate it! Thank you for that!

I spent this weekend kind of obsessing over equal marriage rights. In the US. And the rest of the world, for that matter. It's not exactly my goal in life to be overly engaged in politics, but the issue is very close to my heart - so I chose to participate. It's times like these that makes me feel so lucky to have the rights I do here in Norway. I'm married to a girl, in case you didn't know that - and it just makes me so incredible sad to know that it's not allowed in some parts of the world. Still. It's 2013, and you're not allowed to marry the person you love.

People decided to unfollow me on various sites this weekend when they realized I was gay. Well, whoop de fucking do! I wasn't aware it was a secret. I've gotten more hateful comments in Instagram than ever before, but I don't feel violated. I'm not angry. I'm relieved and a bit happy, to tell you the truth. If you're that small minded, I don't want you in my life. If you don't support love, the most beautiful thing in the world, I feel bad for you - and I'm happy to see you go. Love isn't a religion - and no religion has the right to claim ownership over love or marriage. Love is feeling that transcends the body, goes beyond borders, genders and sex. It's everything and nothing - it's universal and it's true. You can't soil that with something someone wrote thousands of years ago or with all the filthy words you learned in preschool.

Anyways, I don't have an ending to this post - as the issue in this post has yet to get an ending itself. But fear not, I'm not turning into a crazy gay rights activist blogger. As I said earlier this month: I may wear high heels, own a Chihuahua, read ELLE and eat cupcakes - but I'm not at all who you think I am. A lipstick lesbian is just one of the things.


PS. If you're here to hate, don't bother. Your comments wont make me less gay. xoxo

41 comments:

  1. Well said, my dear! I've spent years wishing half of my straight friends here in the US were able to find a love as sweet and strong and as healthy as yours. And I wish my friends who have found that kind of love in partners of the same sex were able to have it recognized. I can't imagine loving Dustin the way that I do and having someone tell me I can't marry him. It makes my heart hurt to think about it. I am so disappointed in peoples' inability to stop and imagine, just for a moment, what it might be like to be in someone else's shoes.

    I admire you so. You are a wonderful, wonderful person. Keep speaking your mind!

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    1. Thank you very much, sweetie!

      I'm not saying my relationship is perfect, far from it - but it's a relationship I'm truly proud of. It's hard, no matter who your with and no matter what they're orientation is - but I truly believe that everyone should have the option to marry the one they love. One of the most important aspects of life is love, so I don't get why it should be an issue at all WHO you love.

      I see today that I have a very negative angle to this post, but I'm not going to change that. The support I feel is both bottomless and sky high, and I forgot to say that in this post. I'll make it more clear in my next one <3

      Thank you again, dear! <3

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  2. This is going to be a really long comment, and I apologize in advance for that. I love the big bow and your collar! It's avery pretty look. I live on Long Island in New York, U.S.A. (the NorthEast across the pond). Sometimes when I'm grumbling about how cold it is I need to remind myself how much colder it is where you are and how much later Spring comes there. I'm glad you can go outside again without turning into dust. I used to comment alot on a website named Jezebel and got interrogated over the affinity I felt for lesbians. I myself was not thrilled at having been born male, and for a while considered having an operation. I didn't because I was afraid I would have to deal with other men more if I stopped being one. I used to go out in full drag on Halloweens and on New Years. I just had a comment on my last blog post ( at http://www.full-brief-panties.blogspot.com/) saying: "I can't get over the fact that you're showing your ass on a blog in ladies underwear, and I'm actually pretty open minded." I don't think he was open minded at all. I disabled comments and ratings on my YouTube videos because there were so many haters pretending to be religious in order to try to justify their bigotry and false-flagging of my videos. I liked you already not knowing you were gay, and now I like you even more. In fact I like you much more. You're brave and being yourself. I love that. I follow a lot of gay women's blogs and websites. Unfortunately I'm temporarily having a problem with the domain name registration of one of my blogs that had a lot of good links. Gay marriage here in New York State (U.S.) just happened recently. I had followed the very romantic proposal by Rebecca Szymczak of "The Femme Next Door" and the acceptance by the woman who is now her wife, Anne Neczypor. They got married here in New York as soon as it was legal to do it. How sad that there are so many people (bigots) who would tell people who love each other that they can't get married because of their gender and their (bigots) own pseudo "religious" beliefs. The way you stated it is so clear, beautifully stated and understandable. If you and your wife ever choose to share your feelings and experiences I would love reading about them... and I promise to stop by more often now that I know your out. Much love to you and your wife xoxoxox I hope a wonderful warm Spring comes your way there soon.

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    1. I love long comments, so never apologize for that! It seems like you've had a pretty tough life, and I'm sorry about that.

      You have chosen a very specific topic to blog about, and the more specific a blog is - the more it will attract bullies. People fear what they don't know or understand, and fear often presents itself as hate. What you do with your life is entirely up to you. It's like a bloggers rule that if you can't take the heat, don't blog about it. It's an idiotic rule, because we should be able to expect more respect from people. Anonymous people included.

      I have been "out" for 8 years, many more with my friends - but I didn't realize I had to announce my sexual orientation to every new person I meet - so that they can choose if they like me or not based upon that. It's just stupid!

      Thanks for commenting!

      Delete
    2. Thank you! :D You inspire me and from reading the comments on your other posts I can see that you have inspired many other people as well. Of course the idea of anyone having to announce their orientation is silly. We are whoever we are. There will always be haters. I was listening to and watching the Katy Perry music video "Wide Awake" on YouTube last night and was amazed to see scores of spam comments by people claiming to be religious preaching against homosexuality in the comments and quoting scripture, totally unrelated to the song or the video. I wondered whether maybe they picked on her because of Katy Perry's hit song "I Kissed a Girl" a while back. Relatively recently I saw that "I Kissed A Girl" had been classified as over 18 with the legend: "This video has been age restricted based on our Community Guidelines" WTF???
      Sorry for ranting. I think you are amazing and very much appreciate your positive outlook and sage advice. I guess I should expect to get haters and to get my accounts suspended once in a while due to the false-flagging. Thank you very much for being so understanding and for having taken the time to reply - it's hard for me to overstate how much I appreciate it. :)

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  3. Damn. People stopped following you when they found out you were gay? I guess some people are going to stop following my blog when they uncover that I am bisexual (not even joking). O_o Well, I'll just jump straight into ad hominem territory and announce that they're all idiots. There are so many more dire issues that should command our attention, these days.

    I read your blog because it's honest; because I think you're a really sweet person; because you're beautiful (:P); and because I like your style. I'm thinking that most people out there follow you for some or all of these reasons. Knowing your sexual orientation has no bearing on any of those aforementioned reasons. So, if people stopped following you because you are gay, then I have to ask: why the f*ck were they following you in the first place? Because they thought you were heterosexual? Like a said: Idiots. ;)

    Stay sweet, Barbro. <3

    - Anna

    www.melodicthriftychic.com

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    1. I just don't get why it's such a big deal! For me, it's completely normal. It's my life. Who I choose to spend my life with is no one else's business but mine. Whatever-sexual, we're all just people trying to get the most of life. All this negativity is just a waste of time, really.

      It's fine if someones religion says it's wrong to be homosexual, I completely respect that - but I don't force my beliefs on them - so why should they push theirs down my throat? There's so much evil in religion, which don't weigh up for all the love they claim their god(s) gives them - but that's just my opinion. Who I hold hands with wont hurt anyone.

      Maybe people still think it's contagious, being gay - and that's why they unfollowed me. I don't know, and I don't care - I just thought it was a weird thing to do.

      Anyways; I really appreciate your comment, Anna - and I'm happy to know a little more about you. And I'm glad you agree with me!

      Stay awesome!

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  4. I started reading your blog around 2 years ago. I learned that you are gay when I decided one time, several weeks after I discovered your blog, to read your "about" page. I'm straight but (excuse my language), I don't give a damn if a person is gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, whatever! For me, I'm not a romantic person but love is love. Plus I'm subscribing to your blog not because of what you stand in this but because I like your fashion style. And if people unfollowed you or gave you hate messages always remember there are A LOT of people like me who are not as stupid and close-minded as them.

    In my country, same-sex marriage is still illegal and sometimes being gay is still an issue but I'm glad there are several people standing up to give them their rights like Divine Lee. I'm sure you will like her blog. Her nickname is Mother Becky ("Becky" is a Filipino slang word for gay.), she's a straight woman yet she fights for the gay rights in my country :)

    WWW.STYLEVANITY.COM

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    1. That's exactly my point! Why should who I love have anything to do with my style? My orientation does not define my sense of style. Anyone thinking that are just shallow and racist. Whomever you love, it just doesn't matter. Fashion is fashion; it's supposed to be fun - not a political statement.

      Thank you, Alyssa! Your support means the world to me <3 I'll check out brave Mother Beckys blog for sure :)

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    2. By the way: I know this post was a bit on the negative side when it comes to my already existing community - which I know support me no matter what. It was just a kind of "in the moment" post, where my focus was this weekends happenings ;)

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  5. You are the best ♥ I really can't even believe that this is still an issue! Why are people so dumb ughh.. I just don't understand why people think it's ok to make decisions for other people. It doesn't just apply to gay marriage, but for all of the stupid laws out there...anti abortion, drug laws, etc. I don't ever write about politics on my blog because I don't really think there is anything else to say. People are just dumb and think they are better and more important than people that are different than them. It's very frustrating, especially being from the USA. Then it's also embarrassing.

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    1. Oh and I forgot to mention this outfit is perfect.

      ♥ Sonja

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    2. I completely agree! Most of these "rules" come from religious views, not the state or country. Religion has nothing to do with love. You can love a religion, but a religion should not be able to decide who you love.

      I don't usually write about politics either, this is after all a blog about my personal style - not my personal life. I just felt like sharing this with you guys, as it is a part of me. I also wanted to let potential haters and bigots know that they're not welcome here ;)

      Thanks for you comment, Sonja. You shouldn't be embarrassed at all, it's not your opinion - it's someone else's. I'm just thankful to have a voice, or in this case a keyboard - to let me express my opinion. And not to mention that you expressed yours as well ;)

      Delete
  6. The fact that people can't read a blog, or follow a instagram account owned by someone who's gay, just shows how sad, dinosaur-ish we people still can be. I could understand if you turned your blog from fashion to gay rights, or "forced" a lot of gay pics on people, or did anything provocative. It's sad to see that even in 2013 love is not enough. It still has to be the "right" kind of love. For many. Luckily, the world also gets more and more open minded. It's important to remember that too, that there IS hope. Baby steps. :)

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    1. Haha, well said, sweetie!

      What are "gay" pictures anyways? I'm curious to hear what you define as "gay". Is it two guys kissing or two girls in bed? If that's the case, a great deal of todays fashion editorials are totally gay. We can't tell who is and isn't gay in pictures, can we? If you put a Balenciaga bag in a picture of two gay girls embracing each other; is it a fashion statement or an totally gay picture? If we remove the bag: does it even matter? Just wondering.

      The world is changing, and I'm happy to be a part of that. It's just hard to see sometimes. Bigots are quite loud.

      Thanks for commenting, babe!

      Delete
  7. Nothing changed for me when I learned you were gay and married to a woman. I don't find reading your blog uncomfortable, instead, quite inspirational - but not because of your sexuality and your wife. And that's how it should be! I should love or hate you based on what you do with your life (love, by the way), not who you are by birth!

    <3 <3 <3

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    1. Thank you very much, Fiona. I loved your comment so much, especially the last sentence.

      "I should love or hate you based on what you do with your life (love, by the way), not who you are by birth!"

      It just show the obvious similarities between the old interracial debate and the marriage equality debate in general. No one can do anything about about who they love, the color of their skin or where they come from. It's what they do with their life that matters.

      If anyone thinks my blog is uncomfortable to visit, they just shouldn't be here in the first place. Clicking on a link or typing in my address is a choice. Reading my blog is a choice. Who I love is not a choice, and whether I'm gay or straight - it just shouldn't matter. My sense of style wont change your sexual orientation. Unless you really, really, really like it.

      Delete
  8. They should feel relieved you're gay, if you ask me, 'cause you'd be stealing some boyfriends if you were straight. :)

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    1. Hahahaha, you totally made me burst out in laughter here!

      Thank you for that! ;)

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  9. I will always love your blog. I love your title, your photography, your story & your style. You are wonderful & one of my favorite inspirational bloggers. xx

    http://wearingwolf.blogspot.com

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    1. Oh, wow, Charles! Thank you so much for leaving such a beautiful collection of words for me! I truly appreciate that! <3

      Thank you!

      Delete
  10. P.S.: I like the look of your iiS of Norwaysweater and I LOVE what you wrote about love.

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  11. Such a comfy looking outfit- adore the sweater!

    I appreciate your support in gay rights. Here in the US there are so many conflicting beliefs and small minded people. It's really sad I must say.
    One of our good friends (Haley and Angie) in Oregon are married to each other and they look so happy and in love.
    Everyone should be happy and be with who they want to be with! :)

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    1. Thank you, Heidi!

      I'm so happy to have your support as well, that means a lot to me! And I imagine, every other LGBT person on the planet ;)

      Love is love <3

      Delete
  12. I usually don´t comment the bloggers I follow because of my short time for everything but....really!? Did people stop following you because of your options? I thoight they followed because they liked you style. Shame on the voyeurs :P

    Good luck and love as much as you can everyday

    Senra

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    1. Haha, that's what I thought too - not because of who I choose to spend my life with! It's so silly :p

      Thanks for taking time to write a comment to me, though - I really appreciate that, Senra!

      Delete
  13. Anonymous9:57 AM

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  14. People are idiots, the only sensible way of dealing with it is to not deal with it at all. Do what you feel like and think whatever the hell you want, nevermind the ignorant morons that want to stop you.

    / Avy
    http://MyMotherFuckedMickJagger.blogspot.com



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    1. Thanks for the support, Avy - I truly appreciate that! And I completely agree with you!

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  15. I know 2013, and still.
    In my country, next year, we have presidential elections, and it's divided between candidates that say NO to gay marriage (which, BTW, are really low in the surveys) and candidates who say YES to marriage. I think that this and education affairs are going to make the diference in the results. Religion is an strong issue in my country, that's why equal marriage rights have it difficult here, but I have the feeling that it's going to change really soon. Things are changign already, slow, but changing.
    It just makes me so mad that because you are in love with a person of your same sex, you don't have the same rights, it sounds so...stupid! I really can't find the word.
    And I don't get why people don't like gay people. If you feel uncomfortable, look the other way. But why hate?. I really have the theory that the more homofobic you're, the more you should start to wonder if you are not gay and you are just scared. Have you seen this american politics that appear talking bad about gay people and then BANG! they have male lovers or escorts. It's so funny in a way.

    As for me. I love gay people and I support them to death.
    And as for you, I don't care if your are married with a girl a boy or a cat. Althought I do have to recognize that I feel really cool having a girlfriend who's married with a girl. Like "Look at me, my friends are so modern".

    So, that's my comment.
    Kisses!

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    1. It's the same story over and over again, history repeating itself because of religious beliefs. Marriage, equality, love, color, beliefs. It's so tiresome. It's such a waste of time. And it causes so much conflict and hate. It just makes me kind of loose hope in humans, all in all. It would be so much easier if people could just show some god damn respect, and worry about themselves - rather than everyone else. Love and truth - those should be religions.

      It's hilarious when people get "busted" being gay like that - especially politicians! It's just a lack of morals and double standards.

      Haha, you're too funny! If this marriage doesn't work out, I'm totally marrying a cat! :D

      Thank you for your support and for just being awesome, M! You're the best!

      Delete
  16. Sometimes I just hate people, I can't understand how they can be so narrow minded. Love is the ultimate religion and to me everybody is an equal. Don't pay attention to those haters, they are beyond stupid. But a lot of people are just so judgemental, that's why I rarely share my orientation with anyone, even friends.

    It really freaked me out to see how many people recently protested against gay marriage and adoption rights in France. Sometimes I think this world is just doomed. But I'm glad at least some of the countries stepped forward and hope many will follow!

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    1. I love that! Love is the ultimate religion, such a wonderful statement. And I agree, very much! Who cares WHO you love. Love is love <3

      It's really sad that it's such a big issue, still. I know change will come, but everything happening up to that point really show how horrible people can be.

      Scandinavia is really setting an example on that part, with Sweden, Denmark, Finland and Norway being for equal marriage rights. Adoption is hard no matter what kind of marriage you're in, but I hope people will see the true benefits of children having parents - rather than growing up on the streets.

      Thanks for commenting, sweets!

      Delete
  17. I read some disgusting comments that various people left on your Instagram. I couldn't believe what I was reading! Sexuality doesn't matter. You're kind, beautiful and genuine. Just continue being YOU!

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    1. Yeah, some of them were harsh - but I didn't take it to heart. I just wanted to point out that it doesn't matter who you love, it's not like we're sitting on your lap being all in gaylove an stuff :p

      Thanks for your support!

      Delete
  18. I am sorry to hear that you received hateful comments on your Instragram. BTW I love the fact that you don't fit the lesbian stereotype and I am sure that you are very inspiring to other lesbians who don't either.

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  19. I am sorry to hear that you received hateful comments on your Instragram. BTW I love the fact that you don't fit the lesbian stereotype and I am sure that you are very inspiring to other lesbians who don't either.

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    1. Thank you so much, Marie - I really appreciate that!

      Stereotypes are just that: stereotypes. We weren't born to blend in, we were born to stand out <3

      (Or in my case: come out ^^,)

      Thanks for commenting!

      Delete
  20. Jeebus. People can be so stupid. Who cares that you're a lesbian or that I am hetero? Does that make any difference in the end of the day to these people when they read our blogs? I don't really understand how that would be an issue... like you say, if they're no longer around (even if only virtually) it's probably for the best.
    Kudos on your blog, I really like your style!!!

    xx

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    1. Haha, I couldn't agree more! It really doesn't make a difference ^^,

      Thanks for the support and comment, Mrs. D!

      Delete

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