The perfect storm


Dress - Noisy May // Signet rings - Tom Wood // Minimalistic rings - Still With You // Shoes - Diesel


I was watching kids play in the park the other day, quite ordinary, but extraordinary still. They seemed like they were living life in slow motion. It saddened me; how a smile and a touch came hand in hand, how the sun shone extra bright upon their tiny little heads and how easy it was for them to laugh. I'll admit, I was jealous. Not of the children, but of how simple life was when I didn't understand that being alive is so fucking hard. Most days, I exist. And that's it. It's the strangest, and most honest, fact I can reveal about myself.

Oh, how I wish I could say that now that summer finally has arrived, everything is picture perfect. That the grass is greener and that the strange, white butterflies soaring all around me look like dancing fairies on ecstasy. It is, and they are - but that's just an observational fact. Some days, I just can't face the world. Some days, I can't even face myself. So I stay in bed, away from mirrors and shiny surfaces - smiling people and loud noises; and I focus on surviving. I take shelter, but it's hard, since the perfect storm is inside of me.

11 comments:

  1. Reading your posts is always a wonderful and at the same time strange feeling to me since you often write down what I think by myself too... <3
    What you're saying is - sadly - true: Most of our time we're just existing, managing our daily routine, trying to get to the next day. It seems so rare that we really live our life, feel the moment and be happy - just as these little children!

    https://anovamelody.blogspot.com/

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    1. Thank you very much, Anova.

      I try, I really do, to live in the moments. I stop to watch these butterflies and I sit and watch the shadows dance. I just need to learn how to let my shoulders down and shut down this crazy brain of mine.

      I'm both glad and sad, that you can relate. I really appreciate you letting me know. Truly.

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  2. So true only exist in this world and sometimes I don't even want to exist....

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    1. When I feel like that, I try to remember these two reasons for living:

      - Sunrises
      - Sunsets

      If all else fails, at least it will get me through the day.

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  3. There's always poetry in pain and sadness, as long as you can keep it harnessed and at your will, not at pain's will. Be strong if you can, or just allow yourself to be weak and human. Childhood is not always made of happiness, you know? And it's alright to feel sad and just survive - don't we all? even the ones who claim to be living? You're a truly poetic soul.
    http://bloglairdutemps.blogspot.pt/

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    1. I know all to well the sadness of childhood, but it wasn't until I grew up I knew it was sad. Understanding certain things come naturally as we age, it's just life. What I miss, is the ignorance and bliss.

      I really like what you said about allowing oneselves to be human, and weak. Today I'm human, and weak. And it's OK.

      Thank you so much for commenting <3

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  4. Somehow you are able to put very difficult feelings into beautiful words. ♥

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    1. Thank you, Sonja. I really appreciate that <3

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  5. You look amazing in this dress! Perfect for summer time. I too often look at children, and think of how easy and laid back their life is. You always write things so beautifully and right to the point!

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  6. Barbro, that sucks so much! I hope you make it through. I hope you survive. And I hope that someday you'll be properly happy again - first for a day, then for a month, then for good. Nothing is certain in life, but I'm pretty sure it'll happen eventually - unfortunately all you can do in the meantime is be as good to yourself as you can, and hang on.

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  7. Back to your dark colours I see! Very chic and sophisticated!
    Two Hearts One Roof

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Thank you for taking the time to comment; I really appreciate it <3 I try to answer all my comments! If you have any questions feel free to send me an e-mail at contact.barbro (at) gmail (dot) com :)

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