I know I seem really friendly, but I'm a closet introvert.


Leather skirt  - Object // Sweater - H&M // Coat - Vila // Silk scarf - Holzweiler // Signet rings - Tom Wood // Shoes - Bianco

I'm just introverting over here, or hibernating. Sometimes, I can't even tell the difference. I wish I was the type of person that could just jump into things and enjoy spending time talking to other people. I'm just not that person. I'm a super-duper-great listener, though. I've come to terms with the fact that I'm socially awkward, and a bit of a loner; but at times I truly envy people who are social butterflies. Envy might not even be the right word. Admire. Yes, admire is a much better fit. I admire social butterflies. They seem to just float through this human maze consisting of loud noises and unexpected turns. It doesn't exactly help that I have a tendency to focus very much on how I'm being perceived, through other peoples eyes, in their heads, in my own head. Inception, anyone? Very narcissistic, I know.. It's one of the pretty traits that ride along "social anxiety" like a freakin' side cart. I'm just a big, insecure mess. I guess we all are. Some just hide it a little better. Tell me; how do you do it?
Quote by Lauren Myracle

8 comments:

  1. Jeg tror nok at mange social butterflies også innehar mye usikkerhet. Selv om de byr på seg selv og virker komfortable i alle sosiale settinger, så er det nok stor forskjell på hva som ligger på utsiden og hva som er på innsiden.

    Love M

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    1. Usikkerhet er veldig vanlig, så det tror jeg absolutt at de har. Det er når det går over fra å være ubehagelig til å bli altoppslukende at det blir skummelt. Vi går liksom ikke rundt med følelsene og tankene våre på et whiteboard rundt halsen, selv om jeg noen ganger skulle ønske vi faktisk gjorde det. Ikke for å gjøre ting enklere, men for å gjøre livet litt mer ekte. Vi skal være så perfekte. Det er ingen plass til feil. Ingen plass til åpenlys menneskelighet. Det er så trist. Og ærlig talt ganske skummelt.

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  2. When I was a teen, and in my twenties I was a social butterfly of all rising colours. After hitting 30 I started getting sick of being with people, feeling drained when in social activities, and now that I'm in my forties I am just plain antisocial, I think ;) And yes, I do relate to what you've said about focusing on how one is being perceived, but mostly I just find that people are tiresome, and self centered, but mostly argumentative. Have no patience for argumentative people.
    http://afashionfauxpas.blogspot.com

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    1. We are all in the center of our own universes and my universe is a lot like a New York city apartment; there's little space left for anyone else and guests are more of a burden than anything else. And I feel like that both at home and in social situations, so I really understand how you can feel drained. It's not that I don't like other people, it's just that I'm so focused on my flaws and insecureties, I drain myself. It's a viscious circle. It's like I said on my facebook page: acceptance is a very important keyword in any relationship. Including the one you have with yourself.

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  3. I think truly I am an introvert but I can be an extrovert when needed. If I had the choice between staying home and watching TV or going out to a party, I would rather stay in. People and parties tire me out.
    When I was in High School and first 2 years of college, I tried to be more of a social butterfly but after that I soon accepted my personality and who I was.
    When I am invited to a party or social gathering, I can be social and what not though. Working in retail I work with people all day but I think because I don't have to keep talking to the same person for an extended time makes it not all that bad. :)

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  4. Actually, I rarely do it. I'm very much of an introvert, a slave to my anxiety and a recluse. People have commented that seeing me is more rare than an Elvis sighting. My main social butterfly trait is blogging and commenting on other people's blogs. Other than that it's mainly coping with unavoidable obligations that causes me to see people. I think you're doing quite well coping. Your H&M sweater, Holzweiler silk scarf, Vila coat and long braided dark hair look lovely, and your lipstick and eye-makeup are absolutely perfect!

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  5. Oh, you just described me. It's somehow nice to know I'm not the only one, thanks for that!

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  6. I call myself an introvert/extrovert because I seem to focus more inwardly when I am with other people - what I am thinking and doing, what they are thinking and doing etc etc. Throughout my teenage years I put on a front of being extrovert when in fact I preferred the peace and quiet of my own company or those few people closest to me. Safe to say I was very very lonely - I never really understood how to be with people my own age. Things fell apart for a while and as I put myself back together I came to understand that it was OK to be in the quiet of my own company. I am forging my own path out into the world. That is all anyone can do. Like you say, we all create our own universes and have to accept things just as they are. Being vulnerable isn't the same as being weak. That was a huge lesson for me and one I am still learning every day.

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